Honoring Marital Vows with Complete Fidelity

Keeping our marriage vows with complete fidelity forever

In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" it says, "God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between a man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.  They should honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

In the world today, there is a misconception that infidelity involves only sex outside of marriage, but being completely faithful to one's spouse, requires more than not committing adultery.  When we get married, we are completely giving ourselves to our spouse.  We love our spouse and God with "All our heart, might, mind, and strength"(D&C 4:2).  Our spouse is the only other besides God who we are commanded to love with all our heart.

Every day on the news, you hear about the indiscretions of athletes, celebrities, and politicians. Television makes infidelity seem like an everyday occurrence.  Surprisingly, according to research done by the National Marriage Project (2009), 21 percent of married men and 14 percent of married women in 2000 report ever being unfaithful to their spouse.  Yes, this sounds terrible, however this number has not increased over the past 20 years.

There are four general types of infidelity: fantasy, visual, romantic, and sexual.  Fantasy Fidelity is having an emotional affair with someone who has no knowledge about what is happening, or someone who is anonymous, (like on a social network or chat room).  Let's say John and Emily are married.  John frequently fantasizes about one of his co-workers, a woman and what it would be like to run away with her and have a life together.  Would John ever act on this fantasy?  Maybe, maybe not, but because he is imagining what life would be like with another person, he is not being faithful to his wife.  It is important to remember, "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he"(Proverbs 23:7). The line can seem blurred, but this infidelity is all about emotions.  If we find ourselves putting more effort into another relationship, then we need to stop and think about how this is affecting our marriage.  

The second infidelity is visual, and is one of the most common types in our world today.  Pornography involves the common practice of self-stimulation while viewing pornography.  In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus has warned that we should not look upon anyone lustfully.  Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught: "Pornography impairs one's ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship with a person of the opposite sex.  It erodes the moral barriers that stand against inappropriate, abnormal, or illegal behavior.  As conscience is desensitized, patrons of pornography are let to act out what they have witnessed, regardless of its effects on their life and the lives of others."

Romantic infidelity happens when an individual becomes emotionally involved with a specific person other than his or her spouse.  It can be described as a "second life" and can be a result of trying to escape the monotony of everyday life.  Satan tries to convince us that our life is boring and we need to escape our dull routines and relationships.  Those who are unfaithful, however will over time become disappointed since everyday life will catch up to us eventually.

The final type of infidelity is sexual infidelity.  This occurs when a person engages in sexual acts outside of marriage with or without emotional attachment.  It's important to understand that infidelity is very subtle and does not begin with adultery.  It begins with thoughts and attitudes.

There are many ways to avoid infidelity.  Here are just a few:

-Be loyal to your spouse
-Put your spouse first
-Control your thoughts
-Be on guard. Have boundaries and draw the line with others of the opposite sex.

When we have appropriate boundaries, are loyal, control our thoughts, and put our spouse first, our marriage will unlikely be hurt by infidelity.

A day in the life of an Adult with ADD

Let me begin by saying… I don’t expect you to read all of this, I know I wouldn’t (if you’re anything like me, you won’t sit here long enough to get through half of it), just wondering if any of you have days, weeks or

you live like this? I love the creative side of my brain, but the other side is driving me crazy.  

I debated about whether to even post about this, but I think there may be someone out there who needs to read this.  I am 43 years old and I have ADD.  There, I said it.  Here is what my days are like:

6:15am:  wake up, get kids to school, eat breakfast, put the clothes in the dryer that I forgot about and left in the wash the day before.

8:00am: exercise (if I don't do it now, it won't get done)

9:00am:  check my e-mail, my blog, and usually spend at least an hour looking at blogs and answering e-mails.  

10:00 or so:  take a shower

10:30am:  think about the things I should do, then decide to get on the computer again.  Sometimes I start a craft, but I don't usually finish it.   Maybe throw a load of laundry in the wash.

12:00: eat lunch while I am on the computer checking e-mail and my blog. (I  know. I am a addict)

1:00: think about all the projects I want to do, but don't actually start anything.  Feel overwhelmed by some of the things I should be doing.  maybe remember to put the clothes in the dryer.

2pm: Think to myself, "What happened to the time? I can't believe it's almost time for S to come home!"

Look at the pile of stuff in my bedroom against the wall and think about how I need to do something with it. I decide I'll do it tomorrow.

2:30:  Take a nap until S gets home.

Are you thinking, "Holy cow, that woman is REALLY lazy!"  Well, that's what I think sometimes.  I really have good intentions about what I am going to do that day, but it never really works out.  

This is totally me!  

You should see my house.  Can you say Clutter?  I look at it and just don't know what to do with it, so I do nothing.

I hope I don't scare anyone out there, I actually function pretty well,  it just gets old.  I am tired of forgetting stuff, blurting out stuff, not finishing a task, or not even starting it, having a low self-esteem, etc...etc....etc...

I was diagnosed about 6 years ago, along with my then, 8 year old son.  He was put on medication which has helped him tremendously.  I tried the medication, but I didn't like the way it felt, so I quit taking it.

Many of you know I started College last Fall and I have been doing really well.  But recently I have felt so scatter brained, forgetting more, and having a hard time getting ANYTHING done.  So I went to a Dr. He gave me a written test to take and did confirm that yes, I do have ADD. 

So now I am taking some medication for ADD and so far it is working GREAT!   I don't feel so exhausted all the time, my mind seems more clear, and I feel more driven to get things done.  It's not perfect, but things are getting better.

  If you think you might have ADD,  or you have a kid or a spouse with ADD,  you should watch ADD and loving it?!  It was recently on PBS.  It was awesome!   Here is a quote from the show:

When ADD is diagnosed and treated, life can become very sweet. A liability can become an asset. As one expert explains, "This is not a diagnosis to fear. This is a diagnosis to understand and embrace."

I am learning to live with ADD and I know others can too.  I hope this helped someone out there.  It helped me to write this!

My top 5 Favorite Halloween Costumes

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I was looking at the Martha Stewart website  today and saw some super cute Halloween costumes that don't look that hard to make....some are even No Sew!  Here are my top 5:

#1  Little Lambs- Oh, so cute!

 

 

#2  Spider web Mother and Sock Spider Baby

 

#3  Garbage Bag Witch

#4  Bat and Shark- I like this one because it looks super easy!

#5  Goldfish

There is so much more on her website and most of them really look doable.

Which one is your favorite?